randy the nudist
by bill560682
Summary: i think the title says it all. disclaimer i do not own home improvement or the people on it.


tim walked into the kitchen only to come upon his son randy standing at the fridge nude as the day he was born.

"randy, what the heck do you think your doing? go put some clothes on." states tim who can not for the life of him figure out why his middle son is roaming around the house nude unless it was some prank pulled on him by his brothers an they stole his clothes.

randy for his part just ignores his father as if he has said nothing and heads over to the couch and grabs the remote for the t.v. and starts channel surfing.

before tim can say anything more jill his wife walks in from her job working with crazy people.

"hi sweety you fix the boys dinner yet?" asks jill to a tim who is just standing in shock.

"TIM, did you fix the boys dinner yet?" inquires jill.

"oh, jill when did you get home?" questions tim.

"just a minute ago. did you fix the boys dinner yet?" asks jill for what seems like at least the 20th time.

"oh, oh ah no. i ordered out. stan's polish food." answers a trance like tim who is still stairing in the direction of his son.

"TIM, you know that stuff does not like you an you will be up half the night not liking it back." replied jill who knew it was useless to yell at her husband since they had been threw this at least once a month every month for the last 20 years. tim loved stan's polish food so much that he ALWAYS over ate.

"jill, do you notice anything DIFFERENT about randy?" asked tim finally coming out of his daze.

jill looks at the son sitting watching t.v. no pink hair, no tattooes she could see, nothing it was just randy.

"no tim, he looks the same as he always does which for our boys WOULD list as strange. no screwed up haircuts like brad, no dog collar or pink hair like mark had, nothing just plain ole randy. why?" asked jill not sure what she as SUPPOSED to be seeing.

"ah, jill. he's nude. nude as the day he was born." blurted out tim.

"he is not," states jill she just looked at him an is SURE if he was nude she would notice. wouldn't she? "uh, honey. ah, why are you nude? did your brothers steal your clothes?" inquires jill when she does a double take an sure enough he is nude.

"no mom, i have just wanted to be a nudest for years and never had the guts to do it." stated randy who was proud to claim who he was.

"ah, how about you put those guts back in the closet and put some clothes on till you have your own place." responded tim who was not at all comfortable with seeing his 18 year old son nude.

"TIM, what your father ment was it will take some time for us to get used to your decision. RIGHT TIM." stated jill giving tim a look that said you agree or else you will need to find a new place to sleep.

"of course. we put up with brad an his 20 different screwed up hair cuts and mark an his goth crap, so why not this too. i mean why should i have any say? i mean i'm just the guy who ownes the place and pays all the bills." stated tim as he throws up his hands an headed off toward the garage.

"don't worry about your father. he hates anything different, unless it is a new tool with more power." states jill to randy.

"yah i know, but it took me years to get up the guts to do this an i am not turning back now. if he can't handle it then i will move out if i have too." stated randy hoping that option would not be needed but if it came down to it he would.

"now randy there will be no need for that." responded jill who could only recall how they almost lost randy for a year to that stupid costa rica program but in the end he did not get picked. she was NOT going to let tim chase away one of his own son's due to something as silly as clothes or in this case lack of clothes.

"i hope your right mom, but if it does come down to it i will not turn back. if need be i will leave. this is who i am an if dad can not handle that then it is his problem not mine." stated randy.

"i understand randy, but how about we agree on some rules at least. such as clothes are to be worn when there is company." requested jill thinking this would not be too much to ask.

"i think i can live with that one. so does al count as company? he does just pop over whenever he want or you all hire him to baby sit us." responded randy.

"no al is not company. but any member of your fathers family does. your poor grandmother can not even handle your uncle getting devorced something like this could kill her. an if your brothers have people over clothes on." retorted jill only half joking.

"i can live with that. brad has only one friend and he is not allowed over after the whole halloween party deal and mark has no friends an with the way my uncles pick on dad he would likely kill me if they found out." stated randy.

"now my sisters likely could care less, your aunt carry would likely join you as a nudist while here." said jill knowing how crazy her sister is. now my mother thou is not the nudist type so clothes when ever any grandmother is around." said jill knowing randy would do as he is told on that matter.

"the good thing about dads family finding out i am a nudist they would be much more likely to call before showing up like uncle marty does. of course he only shows up to barrow money since he never seems to be able to hold a job. of course if he had listened to me about the stock market he would be worth about 4 million dollars right now. speaking of the stock market when do i get my money turned over to me?" questioned randy.

"now you know we can not do that all at once otherwise the government will want to charge you taxes even thou we already payed the taxes on the money. they will want to charge 50% gift tax on the money since we would have to gift it to you. so your father and i will give you 100,000 dollars a year. which will be more then enough for you to invest and turn into millions." responded jill knowing that due to how much money randy had made or that they had made using randy's help it will take well over 30 years to get randy all his money at only 100,000 a year but this will also serve as a safety net incase some of his stock picks backfire and cost him big time. 


End file.
